Quandry

One of the friend's of the family's daughter is becoming quite a looker. We get along quite well. She's 11 years younger than me. Is that a problem, her being 21? Ask any randy mid-life crisis man that question and you'd get a unanimous response.

It's weird as I've known her on and off for years. She was always the curly haired little 9 year old that, while attractive in that "she's going to be a looker one day" way, you'd never do anything about... that's just illegal. As time goes by, the age gap becomes more manageable (c'mon 21 and 32 are slightly less illegal than 9 and 20) and you begin to reassess things in an adult light.

Last time I saw her was two years ago and a party my parents held and we got along famously there (having a burgeoning English accent helped, as did the shifting of 50-off pounds from my previously hefty frame). I've been told that she talked about me endlessly to her mum afterwards.

Of course, friends of families kinda frown on 11 year gaps in anything, so nada came of it.

Tonight at this Boxing Day evening was weird, having not seen her for two years, but being told of this alleged spark. I've come to it over the last couple of years as a sort of solace. "I still got it," in the parlance of the Fonz.

Thus, it was with a sense of trepidation that I entered into conversation this evening. Being 32, two years is nothing (how sad that that is really really true). Being 21, two years can be a period of intense upheaval. So, things (read this as "feelings") that were there two years ago could easily not be there now, and my snatch of solace could so easily be so easily go up in a puff of smoke. I could look back on the "I had it and lost it" phase of my Fonzie emulation.

I have to say, my fears - from my side anyway - were all for nought. The conversation was easy and "bippy" and I don't think I told any stories that will come back to haunt me (I've shelved the "I pissed purple" University exam-period story... girls don't dig it). I dread the quiet periods where the other side of the conversation will realise I have nothing to say. Thankfully, there's always the "so, how's school/work/etc." or "what's the plan for new years" or what have you to fall back on at this time of year.

The convo was actually going really well and I felt a sense of lament as she left prior to dinner, and hope to see her again before the next two years is up. She's finishing up college and seems to have her whole life ahead of her, funny what a decade can do... it's hard to remember that I felt like that once.

If only I lived in Canada. I keep telling myself that. I AM ... an idiot.